You can find the original article on Verbal Remedy's website here.
Stephen Fry’s use of the phrase “we’re all very sorry that your uncle touched you in that nasty place, you get some of my sympathy, but your self-pity gets none of my sympathy” is now old news. No one is longer interested. He has released a statement apologising (which in itself was pretty half-arsed, in my opinion) and as far as the media, fellow celebrities and his opposition are concerned, that’s it. It is all over now. He is ‘sorry’. We move on. Toodlepip, ta-ra, etc.
The problem is that his interview, while certainly sparking controversy, also allowed for a certain part of our society to rear its ugly head. Too many people ran to his aid to defend this view, claiming that we are a generation that is overly sensitive, and as a result of some people being subject to trauma following abuse, this means we can’t take a joke and need to – as the man himself put it – ‘grow up’.
So, here is my letter, not directly aimed at Stephen Fry but rather the people out there who still defend his view. Those of you who, as you are not in the public eye, have not been forced to apologise, but instead still spout hate towards those who are victims of abuse. Here is why we can’t just ‘grow up’.
To all of those who still agree with Stephen Fry,
Self-pity may be ugly, but not as ugly as the real, brutal reality of abuse.
Here is the thing. What you may see as a harmless comment is actually an incredibly regressive and deeply dangerous ‘opinion’. For every one of you that says victims of abuse should get a grip or develop a sense of humour, there is a child being abused who has to try and convince themselves that what happened to them wasn’t a big deal. Every comment is condemning abuse, because for as long as this attitude lives, violence will follow. The perpetrators who prey on the vulnerable will know that they can do as they please, because one day their victim will be told to get over it by people like you. And that child will grow up to think that no one cares.
“But it’s his opinion!” I hear you cry, “It’s free speech. Political correctness gone mad.”
Fry himself said that he believes free speech is being stifled as a result of an over-sensitive generation. But isn’t it incredible that it is always the male, white and rich folk who complain about freedom of speech and censorship, when they have the biggest voices of all?
To argue that you can say what you like because of free speech is a desperate attempt – all free speech gives you is the ability say what you want and not be censored or punished by government. It does not mean that you can be hurtful and free of the consequences, and it certainly does not mean that anyone has to listen, or better yet, tolerate it.
I hate political correctness too, for one reason and one reason only – it shouldn’t have to exist. We wouldn’t need it if people like yourselves were nice to one another and didn’t act harmfully without thinking of the consequences.
Yes, Stephen Fry has has apologised, but we haven’t. We need to apologise to victims abuse for not only the trauma they face, but also the stigma they receive. We need to make sure that we create safe spaces for those who need them and that the support is available. I am very proud to be born into a generation that is enforcing these changes. Charities that focus on protecting children say progress is being made and we are moving toward as safer, more open society. If you find that offensive, I think you need to consider moving back to the 1700s, as you are not welcome here.
For every child in the UK recognised as needing protection from abuse, there are another eight suffering in silence. Your out-dated attitude is prolonging that silence, and that is not what victims need.
Yours,
A proud citizen of what you call the ‘overly sensitive society’.
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